Tuesday, January 02, 2007
Happy New Year for everyone else...
New year, new life... Alone... some of you already know, other's don't... I'm juz go ahead and make it official, Nandhini, has left me... b4 some of you think its juz one of her many attempts and tat it won't be the last, i'm telling you that it is...currently doing better than i thought... not perfectly well, but juz better... no suicidal thoughts anymore... for now, i'm still missing the enthusiasm to live life fully, i guess time will heal me, but now i juz don't want it to... its sad things had to end this way, but i should have known better... blinded by love perhaps ? she's become smarter, in the way she's avoiding me, in her use of words, her manipulation of the situation... i can say that i'm losing my love for her, the only true worry i've got is that i can't protect her anymore... from all the mishaps we will inevitably face, its juz that i see her even more so at risk, her unparalleled ego, her brimming confidence, her unchanged naivity, her weak self will, all adds up as the perfect target for those who can take advantage of her in every way. I still care for her perhaps even love her, but she won't let me... told her not to call yet i keep expecting it, i told her to leave but i keep awaiting her return. she also juz said words to me that i thought she could nvr imagine, she said clearly, without emotion that she does not love me anymore... just when i thought couldn't be crushed any further, i was... I'll pray for her, though she'll hate it, till i can't pray anymore... for it was Radhakrishnan Nandhini that showed me what love felt like... who gave me a sip of such an addictive drug... the one who i shared my first true kiss with, all these are favours i will never be able to make up for to her, regardless of what she has done to me, if she hadn't come along, i am sure what ever greatness lies ahead of me wouldn't be possible... one thing always leads to another... simply, there can't be a third without a second just as there is no second without a first... and you my beloved nandhini, you were my first... just make sure u achieve what you set out to achieve when you left me... or it would have been such a waste... It was a beautiful 9 months with you, and I'll miss you...
plants grow at 2:12 PM